I'm depressed. I felt like being malicious.

So here I was using stumbleupon, when I came across this horrible typeset. Here is the website featuring the "art." http://www.andrejwaldegg.com/projects/sudblock/

It was being shown off, as if it was actually something to behold. I eventually figured out the first sentence, but I still have no idea what the 2nd one says. I decided to make a de-motivational poster featuring the "art."

Here is my glorious work:

My ideal place in 400 words

A home with my personal touch, luxurious amenities, with a welcoming nature to my loved ones is my ideal place. Imagine being wrapped in joy. Upon entering the property, you would immediately notice that you can see no structure, save for the wrought iron fence creating a sense of protection to the oasis. You notice the manicured lawn with ornamental grass borders, towering live oaks, azaleas, and gardenias perfectly trimmed. A sweeping “green” driveway curves downhill to the left out of sight, on the right side of the yard. Upon approaching the end of it, you notice a garage, and a wall of glass nestled into a perfectly sculpted mound of earth, on the left side of the driveway's end, and on the right, an infinity pool looking out into a valley. When entering the house, you notice the warmth and coziness of being underground, mixing with the airiness allowed in by the glass wall. The home would include a cavernous great room, and a small intimate reading room, office, and several bedrooms. Daylight in each room would be provided by small domes in the yard which function as skylights. Walls would curve out of sight past other walls, and evoke a very organic feeling. Bathrooms would be tiled in natural rough flagstone, and the kitchen would have a romantic Tuscan feel. Rooms would often be split into several levels, each with sunken areas to enhance the intimate setting. The ideal place would descend three, perhaps four stories below the main level, almost seeming endless to a first time visitor. The whimsy and creativity that lays dormant in me now would come alive in the architecture and décor.

Candles would be lit everywhere, water features would grace every room, and even one room would be completely black. The master bedroom would be without windows, with a water bed fitted with a memory foam pillow top. Musical instruments for the talented would be available for those with talent, and every cooking utensil and ingredient imaginable would be available for the cook's discretion. A hot tub, fireplace, sauna, media room, and theater would offer other creature comforts. A vast library of books fascinating to all eyes would form the center of one of the levels, representing the importance of knowledge. The great room is the central focus of another level. This is my very possible ideal place.

Rollup Keyboard

Have you ever noticed that all this junk falls into the keys on your keyboard? A few months ago I bought a Saitek Eclipse. It is backlit so you can see those spaced in between the keys really well. I have to shake this keyboard out every night just to keep it in good clean shape. Ever spilled a drink on your keyboard? The keys start to stick and if you're lucky, none of the electronics go bad.

Well, tonight I wanted to tell you about a different kind of keyboard. It's nothing new, by any means, but it is extremely relevant in our "live at the computer" times. People eat, drink, smoke, and do other unspeakable things often times at their computer, and the keyboard, being a human interface device, can often just get plain cruddy. The roll-up keyboard is a solution to that. You can spill drinks on it, and just wash it off. You can flick ashes all over it (smokers know how annoying it is to have ashes all over your keyboard) and just dust it right off. Its made of.. something like rubber. There's no way to get under the keys, and no need to. It's like a keyboard with one of those clear plastic protective covers built in. And, its good for travel since it bends and forms to whatever shape you need it. I found this keyboard on thinkgeek.com for about 24 dollars, and I sure would love to have one!

Creative Writing Prompt

I found a website today called "Creative Writing Prompts." It prompts writers to write about things they wouldn't normally think of. I found one that piqued my interest. It said to get a dictionary and find 10 words that you don't know the meaning of, and don't look at the definition. Create your own meaning for the words, and write about what you think it should mean, and how the word makes you feel. In other words, attach your own meaning to it. For the next 10 days I will choose a word from the list and write about it.

todays word is rixiform. I will post the actual definition after I create my own meaning.

rixiform, adjective. able but unwilling to bend under pressure or stimulus of any kind; stoic; unreactive, hardened. When I read this word somehow the picture of a lawn mower blade appears in my mind. A lawnmower blade will eventually bend under pressure, but just imagine one that wouldn't. It would also be something that is not brittle.. This can also describe a person who could be swayed, but chooses to value their opinion more than another's. Here are a few sentences to display context:

The cold steel bars of the cell were rixiform to him; they seemed to cry out with laughter when he ran his metal cup across them. They defied his need for freedom.

The jury remained absolutely rixiform when the defendant was cross-examined, for the jury was rigged, and would not be swayed to convict someone of their own demographic.

Note: I tried several times to search for a definition, but I could not find one. I found this word on a random dictionary word list site.

Vonage? Crapage.

I'm disappointed today. Last Wednesday, we ordered Vonage. Vonage is a voice over internet protocol (VOIP) phone service, which offers free unlimited calling to anywhere in the US, Canada, and several European countries. I noticed a few annoyances while ordering my service on the phone with a guy in the Philipines. I'm only writing about one of my Vonage annoyances, though. I was told Wednesday night that I would receive my Vonage phone adapter in 3 business days. Wednesday to Thursday, 1. Thursday to Friday, 2. Friday to Monday, 3. Monday to Tuesday, 4. I've been checking online to see the status of my shipment. It says "pending shipping," which says to me, that my phone adapter has NOT left the building. Dad started complaining to me earlier today about it, so I decided to call Vonage and see what the problem was. "Oh there is not a tracking number for your phone adapter, but it has been sent out. We need to escalate the issue so that your order can be expedited. We will call UPS for you and find out the problem and then notify you when we have more information." I don't understand how on my account it can say "Pending Shipping," as well as there not be a tracking number, yet they blame it on UPS. Secondly, I asked when I can expect a call about it, and they said tomorrow. TOMMOROW? This is not acceptable. They should overnight an adapter NOW. I should have had this hooked up and working YESTERDAY. To call me tomorrow just to let me know I still don't have the thing is a slap in the face. If this is the start of a pattern of Vonage's excellent service, we won't be using them for long. This is costing us money. Firstly, our 60 day trial is burning away, and secondly, we're still having to use our old phone to make long distance calls. We still have to pay for area plus to make calls to surrounding towns at no cost. Vonage has dropped the ball here, and I'm frankly upset about it.

Bill Cosby Says

Ya see- ya got ta play the songza!


But seriously folks, whether you realize it or not, I have spent over a year searching for a song that absolutely put me in a trance when I heard it on the radio. It is a remix of Mr. Brightside by The Killers. 104.7 WNOK in Columbia, South Carolina, played the song on their "Club 104" Lineup on Saturday nights along with other electronica, dance, and techno pop remixes. After not hearing it often enough, I decided to go to the website right after I had heard it since they show the last 10 songs played. They showed no remix information, like the DJ who remixed it or what the remix was called. I haven't heard the song again since then. Until today, that is. While using stumbleupon, I found this site, which streams any mp3 you can think of (just about) to your computer on demand. Just type in the artist, or name of the song, and boom. You've got music. If anyone would like to stop downloading music illegally, well you no longer have any excuse. Try songza out. I sure won't be pirating anymore.

Try this on for a laugh.

http://www.explosm.net/comics/1134/